Hey everybody. I haven’t posted anything in almost two months, so I want to share where I am in life and some thoughts I’ve been having.
I recently realized that I have an unhealthy habit.
I’ve kept a journal since high school. Actually, it’s more like me keeping a record of thoughts that I’ve had that I liked. I digitized my journaling when I went to college, and this made it easier and quicker to write a lot. So I ended up having tons of recorded thoughts. A lot of it has ended up as part of this blog and my youtube videos.
What I realized was that I was using blogging as an outlet to share the things I was journaling about. This was unhealthy because I was bypassing the more natural and important outlet of sharing with other people in person, a desire of which blogging was merely a reflection.
I think part of the reason I turned to blogging was because I lacked genuine community where I felt free to share my heart. You might have also noticed that I hadn’t really made an effort to make this blog very personal but rather tried to write in an objective way. This was probably because I subconsciously recognized that blogging wasn’t going to build deep relationships and basically only served as a platform for intellectual discussion.
It’s not like I feared sharing my heart with people; I actually really enjoy being vulnerable. It’s just that I had a bad, subconscious habit.
Having realized this, it became obvious that a lot of my journals left over were merely a burden that I felt like I had to blog, so I deleted a bunch of it, and I’ve been thinking about how to have healthier habits. I think I’ll keep posting some more of what’s left in my journal, but I probably won’t spend as much time polishing what I write as I have in the past.
Another shift that I envisage is I will not make as much of an effort to substantiate my claims. I’m kind of tired of trying to prove every little statement I make (although I do enjoy a good debate). Initially I did so because I knew this would prevent some people from falsely accusing me of not being scriptural or informed. I now also recognize, however, that misunderstanding is inevitable, and that those who truly desire to understand what I’m trying to say when they are not sure will ask me personally.
So yeah…I’m doing well. My absence had to do with significant shifts in my thinking, and that’s been an adventure. I’m looking forward to where Jesus takes me next.
Oh, and I gave the blog a new theme 😀
Love you all. You are beautiful and perfect. Glory!